It’s one of those weekends when it is only a matter of time before someone shows you their new weather app. It will be far better than the Met Office app and will allow you to know how many raindrops will land on a cricket pitch three days before the event. Of course, in these day of populism, ignoring people who invest billions in weather data technology is far more sensible, especially when you can download an app designed by a social inadequate living in his parents attic.
Will it rain? probably at some point somewhere, but I am not entirely sure how to work out if 100% of the afternoon has a 30% chance of rain, what that equates to overall? Come on someone do the maths. I’m not very clever, I went to The Hurst where the only thing I learnt was how to avoid kids called Elvis whose dad’s owned a scrapyard.
Anyway, the weekend is here and after Black Saturday and Golden Sunday last week, we must regroup and look for some success.
The One’s, after being pretty crap with the bat last week, must look to rekindle their winning formula. Suddenly after two successive defeats, the winning run seems a long tome ago. Dan Sumner will be glad for the return of average protection expert, James Bayliss, and UEFA B coach Mike Tiley, who, for what it is worth, is having a rather good season.
Will Montgomery is also back in the side and it won’t just be his all round cricketing ability that is a boost to morale. As the joker of the team, Will can also lift spirits with his joyful demeanour. Most importantly, he can provide a run boost for the loss of form of Brad, who has been batting like Stevie Wonder with his laces tied together, using a runner bean as a bat. Brad has been feeling so bad about his recent showings, he even assisted with rolling a ball into the pitch last night.
An important game this, as I am not emotionally equipped for driving through the famous Oakley gates to the chants of ‘BOB MUST GO, BOB MUST GO!’.
Just win please lads!
Team: Hennessey, Jones, Sumner, Adams, Tiley, Bayliss, Monty, Compton-Bearne, Welsman, Brundle, Barnes
The Two’s are now at a place where upper middle table respectability is the exciting prospect that faces them after not being quite good enough for the top sides in RNE1. George fields yet another ‘good on paper’ team that features a debut for Nick Green. I used to coach Nick at under 15’s level and I have to say, in 13 years of kids coaching he is the best young sledger I have seen. The ‘Haha goodbye’ moment v Hartley Wintney was the personification of good sportsmanship.
The Two’s also welcome back Nellie Warner, Steve Savage and the irrepressible comic, Paddy Saines, as they look to build a good platform after going down like a game of Jenga last week. Captain, George Lethaby has also ignored claims of cricketing nepotism by retaining his dad (The Oakley Express) for the coveted ‘you’ll probably do bugger all’ number 11 spot after what was a resplendent 15 not out last week.
This is a must win game for The Oaks if they are going to realise any ambitions of finishing 7th and gaining the non-existent Europa League spot. Lose this and it’s probably 8th or 9th: it really is that important.
Team: Savage, Warner, Saines, M Wood, G Lethaby, Green, N Rabley, R Wood, O Rabley, Cheyney, B Lethaby
The Third XI are going for a win in a basement clash with winless Aldersholt. This almost certainly means it will be called off, especially as the captains gave up all their spare hours in a bid to get a team out. Once again, the boys have a team where at least one player is going to have an outstanding game. Can they have 4 or 5 good performances and win?
Do you know what, I think they can, and do you know why?
Well that’s no good then, because I don’t know either. I’m just trying to build some excitement towards a game that will probably get called off.
Here is the team. If it does go ahead, do me a favour and win lads, as I am sick of writing the same old ‘if only’ shit every week, I really am.
Team: D Beckell, N Beckell, Thakur, Bowers, James, De Vos, Kancharla, McKewan, W Rabley, B Weslman, Fox
So here we go again my merry men. Take the handbrake off, put the Oakley bus into first gear and…try to get into second this week, or I might get the dreaded a ‘vote of confidence’ from the Oakley board.
It’s like being Stan Kroenke.